You know twin, about that quote you had? The one about the girl feeling scared because she thinks she treasures her friends more than they treasure her? I think it's so true. I'm not being neurotic or narcissitic or anything, but sometimes I feel that I'm so dispensible and disposable to everyone around me. And they say what are friends for? Really what are they for? And they say family is all that matters. But is there anything that really matters? We are all nothingness. So aren't relationships all nothingness?

I don't have a friend in the world. I don't have family. It's all just fleeting people who I've met and made certain connections with. Are those what they call friends and family? The people I can so called count on? I can't even name a single one then. It's not like I have been a hermit all my life, but I suppose I am a social hermit in this certain way.

My head hurts. More than ever.